It's time to dust off an old fan favorite: The Annual Quiz. The first reader to correctly guess what's featured below wins a free one year subscription to THE TOUGH TIMES. Here's a hint: Click on the movie button and get moving! (Safe for work. Especially if you work in a garage or factory.) (Copyright video was filmed by THE TOUGH TIMES over the past weekend.)
Guessing Game Thing
August 28, 2010 The Here We Go Again Again Edition Editor's Note: We obviously survived the Great Blizzards of 2010, and we've got the dramatic conclusion to our story still ahead. Honest. We also have video we're trying to post either on this amazing site, or someplace everyone is calling You Tube. Isn't the Interweb thing cool?
Meanwhile, we're dusting off a classic feature we like to call: Real Craigslist Ads!
Read it and weep. And give this person a break, will you? Hey, lay off!
From the Philadelphia free stuff listings comes this:
LARGE EMPTY BOX *edited* (Center City / The Parkway)
Date: 2010-08-20, 10:23PM EDT
I have a large futon BOX, just a box. A big empty empty cardboard box with no futon inside (so no more emails asking for a free futon please) and it can be yours for FREE. You must be able to come pick it up, I'll be around only tomorrow morning and sunday evening. Thanks!
*** ALSO: please, stop sending me emails telling me to burn the box. You are welcome to come pick it up and do that yourself. I took about 10 small boxes from my move outside to wait for a woman to come pick them up and during that five minutes of sitting there waiting I had 6 residents in the area tell me I couldn't leave them there, the landlord will get fined. I live on one of those streets that only has curb trash pick up once a week, and this box is taking up 1/4 of my small studio apartment. You could fit a few small (live) children in it or maybe make a cool fort for your cats.
Location: Center City / The Parkway
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
July 21, 2010 The Please, Please, Please, Don't Go Edition
Kind Readers: We haven't forgotten you.
We've forgotten how to operate a computer. After extensive rehabilitation, we almost know enough to resume publishing the high quality content you know and love and deserve and expect from THE TOUGH TIMES. We have lots of good stuff coming up, including the dramatic conclusion to the Blizzard Saga. You're sure to find it, like all the other features in THE TOUGH TIMES, really cool. What could be more refreshing during heat of summer? Please keep coming back to drink from this font of the fantastic.
February 23, 2010 The Whiteout Edition
Night was falling... and so were the trees. Holly the Saint Bernard helps guide the way back during Blizzard Number One. (THE TOUGH TIMES copyright photo)
We really thought we were in trouble. The power hadn't returned after a day and half, the dry wood for the woodstove was running out, the tractor had been abandoned because the snow was piling up too quickly, and when we tried to hike the half mile out to the rural county road to see if any plows had been by, we saw a tree down across our long lane. The trek took an hour round trip and without snow shoes it was exhuasting, and we knew if we, or the two dogs, got hurt, we wouldn't have been able to get help. And help wouldn't have been able to get to us. So close, yet so far, to civilization. (To be continued.)
September 10, 2009 The Got Crabs? edition
Getting Really Steamed
Seeing red: Chesapeake Bay blue crabs beckon a diner at THE TOUGH TIMES Eastern Shore Bureau over the Labor Day Holiday weekend. A can of National Bohemian beer, an old oak tree and a brackish creek just feet away, complete this traditional Maryland scene. (THE TOUGH TIMES copyright photo)
No, we're not really steamed. Always a little melancholy about the twilight of another summer, yes, but the thought is made more bearable by the knowledge that crab eatin' is just heating up this time of year. The fall, with the corn husks hanging in the air, the sounds of combines in the fields and the geese winging across the sky, is also a great time for crabs. The watermen head out as they always do in search of these tasty treats, and we await their bounty as eagerly as ever. Makes us want to take a break from rototillers. Maybe forever.
Here's another Real Craiglist (Washington, D.C.) Advertisement. Found in the Domestic Gigs section, it's really an ad that belongs in the Services section, and it should have been flagged. But, either readers are not offended (and they might even be amused), or maybe no one is reading. And there are other questions: Is the ad representative of a real service? Or is it just the product of a good writer with some free time?
Like most hipsters I spend my time being totally ironic and getting seriously awesome. I recently lost my job being hella tight, looking sweet while hanging out in American Apparel and started a business cleaning houses and doing chores. I offer services that are so basic it's almost not funny; except it is, because while you're at work you can think about how badass I'm being at your house. You can rest easy with the fact that a sweet dude in skinny jeans is totally taking out the garbage and cleaning your toilet etc. + If you tip me a 6er of PBR I'll totally update your iTunes collection with the freshest jams so you can impress your friends with your newfound musical knowledge.
Services priced based on services rendered.
Let's get together!
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
And there you have it: Another seriously awesome edition of THE TOUGH TIMES. Thanks for your support.
August 27, 2009 The Turning Over A New...Soil Edition
Before (THE TOUGH TIMES copyright photo)
We've decided to abandon our previous mission--so precisely focused on whatever it was--and devote all of our energies to "all rototilling, all the time." THE TOUGH TIMES is now officially your source for all things rototilling. It really is a way of life, and we hope you will come back constantly for what is sure to become the leading global rototilling resource. Cheers.--The Editors
It seems like only yesterday, we snagged the opportunity of a lifetime to dust off our rototiller and head up the street here in Washington, D.C., to rototill a garden for fun and profit. Scanning the Craigslist ads for employment really does pay. The day was only 95 degrees and the job only took a few hours since the little plot of land only had waist high grass and thousands of bricks and rocks embedded in it. And when it was done, we had a wonderfully small pile of cash, many mangled rototiller tines, and some thrilling before-and-after photos to show the world our newfound tilling glory and source of income. Now, if only some more unwitting victims--I mean, clients--would let us rototill their gardens...
After (THE TOUGH TIMES copyright photo)
Rototilling Resources: Videos
If you have 7-plus minutes to spare--and hey, who doesn't?--check out this video and many more at YouTube:
July 10, 2009 The breaking news edition
Ex-Fannie Mae chief selling house
Former Fannie Mae CEO Daniel Mudd's Washington, D.C., house, with dumpster, before the July 4, 2009, holiday weekend. (THE TOUGH TIMES copyright photo)
Former Fannie Mae CEO Daniel Mudd, who was removed from his post in September 2008 as the mortgage giant came under government fire, has placed his Washington, D.C., mansion on the market for $9.5 million. A dumpster spotted recently in the 6 bedroom colonial's driveway might have tipped off neighbors of the sale. Mudd's salary also gained scrutiny during his ouster; he and other corporate executives were making millions while their companies were collapsing. Mudd bought the estate in the Cleveland Park neighborhood, or, as many in the media like to say, the tony Cleveland Park neighborhood, for $5,150,000 in 2000, according to tax records. The roughly 1-acre site, with its stately presence and old trees, features a carriage house and pool. It was once part of President Grover Cleveland's compound. William F.X. Moody of Washington Fine Properties is the listing agent.
May 5, 2009 The new edition edition
Happy Cinco de Mayo
The Big Two
Real Craigslist Ad of The Day (employment)
Head Lice Removal Technician
Head Lice Removal Company is seeking lice technician (nit-picker) for Maryland area. We will train the right person. Must be able to stand for long periods of time. Must have good eyesight. Must have a lot of patience and be good with children. Must have reliable transportation and insurance. Compensation: $30/hour +. --Washington, D.C., ad edited for length and clarity.
Chug-a-lug! Isn't this what May 5 is all about? Just back from Mexico and feeling a little under the weather with swine flu? Nothing like some mayo to soothe your upset tummy. (THE TOUGH TIMES copyright photo)
R.I.P.: Dom DeLuise
The larger-than-life funnyman who had TV and movie audiences laughing all the way through the 1960's, '70s and '80s is dead after a long illness. He was 75. The actor-comedian-cookbook author might be best known for his work with Mel Brooks and Burt Reynolds.
Blast off: In the blink of an eye, Holly homes in on Cooper's nose. (THE TOUGH TIMES copyright photo)
So, St. Patrick's Day has come and gone. But what about Saint Holly? What about her day? Well, every day is her day, of course. She's a dog. And since we know a good thing when we click on it, we're reaching into our (small) bag of tricks to give you our first video for THE TOUGH TIMES. Where else can you go to watch a classic, playful throwdown in the snow between a Saint Bernard named Holly and a Chesapeake Bay Retriever by the name of Cooper? That's right. These dogs work hard saving snowbound lives and braving icy seas to help put food on the table. Well, maybe not these exact dogs. But they do know how to play hard. So, get ready to be thrilled, and click on the link above. Spring is only a few days away.
February 26, 2009
On Obama, Stump and Conan No shortage of news from the 'while you were away' files
Not exactly Stump: Holly the retrieving Saint Bernard likes to put on a show, albeit far from the hot lights of Madison Square Garden. Above, she entertains onlookers near Chesapeake Bay in 2008. (THE TOUGH TIMES copyright photo)
In case you missed it--and we know you didn't--THE TOUGH TIMES is back after a brief hiatus to take care of some routine housekeeping. While we were gone, a lot of important things happened. John Updike, the great American author who won two Pulitzer Prizes for fiction, died at age 76. Stump, the old Sussex Spaniel came out retirement and beat dogs more than half his age to win Best in Show at the 133rd annual Westminster Dog Show in NYC. President Obama gave his first State of The Union speech. OK, it wasn't really a State of The Union speech, but many in the media kept calling it that, then they'd correct themselves and say that it might as well be a State of The Union speech. For the record, it was his first address to a joint session of Congress. And Andy Richter will join Conan O'Brien on The Tonight Show. Say what? Andy is teaming up with Conan again? Talk about "burying the lead." And that's exactly what publications did with this story. At least the ones that bothered to mention it. This stunning announcement caught a lot of fans unawares. And many are excited by the news. We've actually heard people say this, that they're excited by the news. Not the news that Conan is going to The Tonight Show. Everybody knew that. But that Andy, as fans call him, and Conan, as fans call him, will be reunited. And that's the news roundup. Now, if you'll excuse us, we have some more shredding, or housekeeping, to do.
February 5, 2009 Special Automotive Edition
The Audi R8 V-10, on display at the Washington Auto Show Feb. 4, 2009, will go on sale in Germany this year. Top speed is said to be 196 mph. No word yet on a USA launch. (THE TOUGH TIMES copyright photo)
Time to switch gears
From 0-60 in... Does anyone care?
You know times are tough when a car-nut friend in California, who loves old muscle cars, big trucks and new sports cars (code for: gas guzzlers), is excited about getting 48 mpg or somesuch in his daughter's VW Jetta diesel. So we ducked into the Washington Auto Show to see if the public's tastes are truly changing. We actually paid $10 to do this. The spotlight has shifted to more eco-conscious designs, but are buyers buying it? Well, they might not really be purchasing anything, what with the economy and all, but are they taking pictures of these cars at least? Waiting in a line to sit in them, and turn some knobs on the dash. To close their eyes and, dare we say it, dream? A few years ago, the Smart Car would have been relegated to a dark corner, or maybe even a back hall off the convention center floor. Now, here it is, drawing a crowd of giddy gawking geeks all snapping pictures and video, waiting for a turn to sit in it and...fantasize. Yes. We said it. We saw it. Then we sat in it. And we felt it. Meanwhile, the Cadillac Escalade, bling on an extended wheel base, that old ode to excess, is now vintage automobile porn, fading in a heap in a darkening corner. Really. Sadly. Men seemed more interested in getting their picture taken with the Black Widow. No, not some sort of exotic coupe, but the exotic professional pool player working the crowd over by the Toyotas. Where are the beer-drinking guys in T-shirts saying "I shoulda had a V-10!"? Oh, there they are, in The Flex Lounge, Ford's non-alcoholic display honoring it's hot new "station wagon" (besides Cadillac, most car makers are falling all over themselves to avoid that term). Except, the guys this time are in suits and decidedly not at all resembling guys who need beer. In fact, there's no alcohol to be found anywhere in the Washington D.C., convention center, it seems. There used to be beer here. Porsche and Ferrari are no-shows. Meanwhile, there are plenty of clean diesels and hybrids and sleek electric jobs all around, so shiny and bright, beckoning the masses and intoxicating them.
January 21, 2009 The First Day A new president, a new publication, a new lease on life?
Small crowd hopes to catch a glimpse of President Obama outside side entrance of the National Cathedral in Washington, D.C., Wednesday, Jan. 21. (THE TOUGH TIMES copyright photo)
President Barack Obama continued a tradition Wednesday by attending a special service at the National Cathedral in Washington. When it was over, the bells in the grand tower above began ringing, and a shaft of light came down from the sky and illuminated a small group of people outside in the cold hoping to see the new leader. Seriously. Dow stocks would finish the day higher by by 279 points, just one day after tumbling. Is this what Obama meant when he told us to "pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off" during his inaugural address? If so, the Dow listened. There is something of great interest going on. Most will agree to that. So why were we drawn to the side door of the cathedral this day, Obama's first full day as president? A reporter's intuition? Maybe. Did we want to see the president? Maybe. But what we really wanted was to get a glimpse of his cool new limo.
January 17, 2009 Premier Issue Collector's Edition The Big Three Top story picks of the day
New York jet crash captivates
Pilot is being hailed as hero after all aboard US Airways jet survive when plane goes down in Hudson River.
A warm welcome New dawn in publishing and politics: The Tough Times is born; Obama comes to Nation's Capital with Chicago weather in tow
A walk of the dog is cut short when the walker's fingertips go numb. Now, the walker is back in his drafty office banging out this message a bit more clumsily than normal. Weather is in the teens here. The dog, a Saint Bernard, loves the cold, of course. The walker, not so much. Still, there is electricity in the air. Static and otherwise. People are buzzing about history being made. Are they talking about Barack Obama being sworn in as president in a few days, or are they talking about the launch of THE TOUGH TIMES? Too hard to say, really. But, if they haven't heard, tell all of your highbrow friends about us. OK, how about just telling someone who can read. Our mission is simple: News and entertainment. Um, but not like anything you've read or seen before. Ahem. Welcome aboard.
Jobs: Get away from it all
Australian tourism officials are calling it "the best job in the world," and more than 200,000 have already applied, according to the Associated Press. We call the whole thing a joke. Unless we're getting paid in Coronas.
You think you know coffee?
The caffeinated connoisseur's pursuit of the perfect percolator continues. Many home coffee brewers just can't find a favorite machine. Then there are the MoccaMaster maniacs. Who knew you could watch coffee brewing in a MoccaMaster on YouTube?(See item below)
News you can lose
R.I.P: Ricardo Montalban. 1/14/09. Mexican-born actor perfected his suave persona and made a lasting impression with brilliant performances on Fantasy Island and Chrysler Cordoba commercials. He was 88.
Copyright 2009, THE TOUGH TIMES ® THE TOUGH TIMES is based in Washington, D.C. If you see us on the street, be sure to say "Hi," wish us well and maybe throw a dollar in our Big Gulp cup.
Advertise with us: Mini motorcycle? Check. Miniskirt? Check. Mini pistol? "Freeze, jerky, I'm gonna cap you!" L'il Pow mini handguns offer a lot of protection for such a little package, whether it's a big night out on the town, or a cozy day at home. L'il Pow will wow you.